Raeann Langas: Dating When You Don’t Love Your Body


Raeann Langas, curvy model and body positive influencer, looks back at the start of her relationship with current boyfriend, Ben Mullis, realizing how insecure she was. About a year into their relationship, she asked him, “Why are you attracted to me?” She did not find herself attractive and therefore could not understand how a man could find her attractive, particularly a man who was thinner and more athletic. For much of their relationship, his body made Raeann self-conscious - wouldn’t Ben be happier with someone who was thinner and more athletic like him? Discussing it with him though, he reassured her he is incredibly attracted to her and that he likes that they have different interests - one of his just happens to be working out. Over the years, Raeann has accepted that their bodies are built differently, and encourages women who also feel or have felt like they don’t deserve someone based on how they look to find their confidence and be open to all the love that they are worthy of.

For Further Reading

Check out Katie Willcox talking about how women need to stop thinking they need to lose weight to be loved, here!

Discussion Question

Think of the last significant relationship - romantic or platonic - in your life. Did you ever question their intentions towards you, based on your differences in body type? Did they ever inadvertently make you feel insecure. Discuss why or why not, and try to find things about you they probably loved.

Action Item:

There is an idea perpetrated by popular media that the most attractive people are skinny and athletic. This sends a message to people who are not those things (which is most people!) to either work to become that or to accept your body as constantly less than “perfect”. Try to find opportunities in your everyday life to spread some love to bodies that are beautiful in ways other than being skinny or athletic!

Read more on Shape/ Image: @raeannlangas on Instagram