Ladies, summer is officially here. This is it. There’s no use fighting it anymore. Any social interaction for the next three months will involve stepping outside and taking in the beautiful weather. That means it’s time to have at least one hand on sunscreen and one eye on the nearest shady area at all times – this is not a drill. Say your prayers to Rihanna or whoever you believe in that we make it out of this one alive.
...Wait. Oh, what’s that you say? This isn’t the normal response to summer? Not everyone wears SPF 150 and effectively reflects sunlight like one of those sparkly teenage vampires? Just me? Got it.
Well dear readers, regardless of your personal relationship with the Sun™, there are definitely certain things about the new season that I think all of us ladies – and some of our dude friends – can all agree on. So grab a frosé, and let’s go through some of them.
Sweat. Sweat everywhere.
This is a good time of year to define your relationship with your deodorant. Is she giving you what you need during these trying times? Or does she slip away as soon as things get complicated?
Thighs come out
You start questioning how many days you can go without shaving your legs. (spoiler alert: not many)
Your diet consists of hot dogs, watermelon slices, and ice cream, in no particular order.
Day drinking seems more socially acceptable when it’s nice outside
Trying on bathing suits
Unrealistic beauty standards? Torture devices? Dear reader, you’re hot. Put on a g-string. Or a muumuu. Whatever makes you feel beautiful. And go eat a hot dog.
Every evening Instagram turns into a nationwide competition as to who can capture the best picture of the exact same sunset.
Sunglasses with every outfit
Better to spy on people behind tinted lenses.
“Summer” music only
The Beach Boys come out of hibernation and emerge into your Spotify algorithm.